MEMORIAL SERVICE

                                  FOR

                                                      Michael T_________

                                     December 1, 19xx – October 20, 20xx

 

We have come together from different places;

We are at different stages in our journey through life.

Our paths are varied and

We look at life in different ways.

One thing we have in common:

at one point or another

and to some degree or other

our lives have touched the life of Michael Terry .

And so we have turned aside from our accustomed ways,

and gathered here

to give expression to the thoughts and

feelings that well up in us

at this time of loss.

 

We meet today with sorrow in our hearts; we meet also in thankfulness.  We come in grief because Michael is no more among us.  But we gather also in gratitude, in praise, in tribute, to his life.

 

We come in sorrow, confronting the fact that a life has ended.  Yet, this is the condition of our birth, which at the end of the road, near or far, stands our death.  All the generations have had to bear this heavy truth.

 

The need that is upon us is the need to accept both the glory and the tragedy of life, its holiness and its limits.

 

For everything there is a season, and a time

for every matter under heaven:

A time to be born and a time to die;

A time to plant and a time

to pluck up what was planted;

A time to kill and a time to heal;

A time to break down and a time to build up;

A time to weep and a time to laugh;

A time to mourn and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones

and a time to gather them together

A time to embrace and a time

to refrain from embracing;

A time to seek and a time to lose;

A time to keep and a time to cast away;

A time to rend and a time to sow;

A time to keep silence and a time to speak;

A time to love and a time to hate;

A time for war and a time for peace.

A time to be born and a time to die.

                                               Ecclesiastes           

 

We can meet loss only with our grief.

Yet, in our grief we live an answer,

as in the depths,

love and selfishness conjoin until,

if we allow it,

love asserts its dominance,

and we become more aware

of the community of living

of which life makes us a part.

 

There are no compensations when death, like illness,   enters the perfect circle and leaves a broken arc.  Something has gone which can never be regained. Memories are sweet and gratitude for what has been is a healing medicine, but the whole pattern of life is changed.

 

But whatever the loss, whether it comes early or late, there are other people who have suffered and have needs which those who mourn can serve; there is work today, and there are our children and grandchildren for whom a kinder world  may be provided; there are the counsels of our own hearts, counsels of self-respect and heroic living.

 

The poet, Helen Holt, expressed it in this way:

Since I have felt the sense of death,

Since I have borne its dread, its fear -

Oh, how my life has grown more dear

Since I have felt the sense of death!

Sorrows are good, and cares small,

since I have known the loss of all.

 

Since I have felt the sense of death.

And death forever at my side -

Oh, how the world has opened wide

 

Since I have felt the sense of death!

My hours are jewels that I spend, for I have seen the hours end.

 

Since I have felt the sense of death,

Since I have looked on blackest night -

My inmost brain is fierce with light

Since I have felt the sense of death.

O dark, that made my eyes to see!

O death, that gave my life to me.

 

The love that once was born can never die, for it has become part of us, of our life, woven into the very texture of our being.  The anguish of parting cannot destroy the love that has been, the affection that has existed, the ties that have been woven, the life that has been shared, the joys and the sorrows.  This has been as real and strong as anything in life.

 

          Each of us would wish to leave some part of ourselves;

Yes, every one of us, some memory, some influence for good. So here and now we bear witness to Michael Terry, who now in death bequeaths a subtle part, precious and beloved, which will be with us in truth and beauty, in dignity and courage and love to the end of our days.

 

          Michael was born on December 1, 19xx in Chicago, Ill.   He moved with his parents, O____ and C_____ T____ and his brother Mark to Potomac in 1972.  Terry attended grade school through high school in Potomac and graduated from Churchill High School .  He then attended W_______ College where he graduated in English, Summa cum Laude, Phi Beta Kappa.

 

          Terry was a hard working and dedicated student as can be seen from these honors.  But he also continued to love and play music.   Although he started learning the Cello in Grade School, he found that the drums were more to his liking and he continued perusing his dedication to playing the drums throughout his life.   He loved of music his whole life, from the classics, especially Beethoven , to Jazz and the Beatles .

 

          He continued his education at the University of N_____ , Chapel Hill , where he earned an M.A. in English Literature.  He wanted to become a college professor and took a job at C______  Community College .  It was then that he applied to the Japanese Exchange and Teaching program.  He was delighted to be accepted and the three years that he spent in Japan , teaching English, was the highlight of his life.   Over these three years he became fluent in Japanese.  He even found that he greatly improved his drum playing while in Japan .

 

          He used his days off and vacations to explore, not only Japan , but all of Asia .  Rather than come home for long vacations, he chose to remain in Asia for further travel.  He embraced the Asia culture and brought back a lifetime of memories.  He maintained that the best Vanilla Ice Cream is to be found in Bangkok .  When his three years ended he made his was back home slowly, extending his explorations to Europe .  He wanted to ride every roller coaster in Europe .  He had been an avid fan of roller coasters for many years and tried to ride on as many different ones as possible.

 

          After returning, he found work at the National Geographic, McKinsey and several other jobs, sometimes as many as three at a time.  Finally, after several years of part-time study he obtained a second Masters Degree from Catholic University in Library Science which led to his position with G________ University as the Science Reference Liaison Librarian.

 

          Michael had a great attachment to his family and enjoyed being with or talking to his cousins all over the country.  He was a voracious reader – but not of pop novels – Michael loved to read about History, Philosophy and Biographies.  He was trying to read a biography of every one of the U.S. Presidents.  Michael was physically active and participated in pickup baseball game on the Mall.  Michael took on a great many responsibilities with whatever organization he was involved from his condo association to committees at G________ .  Michael often drove himself and will be missed for the energy and dedication that he brought to any task.

 

A person’s life cannot ultimately be summed up by a few words.  It must remain as it is remembered by those who loved and watched and shared.  For such memories are alive, unbound by events of birth or death.  And as living memories, we possess the greatest gift one person can give to another.

 

I invite you now, any of you who wish, to speak of Michael as you knew him, as you worked with him, as you were influenced by him, as you gained insight through him,  as you laughed with him, as you cried with him, and as you spent time with him.  Tell us of the memories that you have of the life that we are gathered here together to honor.

 

----- Sharing of Memories --------

 

They are not gone who pass

Beyond the clasp of hand,

Out from the strong embrace.

They are but come so close

We need not grope with hands,

Nor look to see, nor try

To catch the sound of feet.

They have put off their shoes

Softly to walk by day within our thoughts, to tread

At night our dream-led paths

Of sleep.

 

They are not lost who find

The sunset gate, the goal

Of all their faithful years.

Not lost are they who reach

The summit of their climb,

The peak above the clouds

And storms.  They are not lost

Who find the light of sun

And stars and God.

 

They are not dead who live

In hearts they leave behind.

In those whom they have blessed

They live a life again,

And shall live through the years

Eternal life, and grow

Each day more beautiful

As time declares their good,

Forgets the rest, and proves

Their immortality.

Hugh Bill Orr

 

Let us keep Michael tenderly in our minds and hearts, keeping in mind the wonder and the mystery of life and death, cherishing Michael’s generous impulses and his good deeds in love, remembering the strong and beautiful meanings of his life.

 

In a world where our most precious goods are perishable, let us resolve to honor Michael by being so good in our living, so kindly, so understanding, so forgiving, so transcendent of pettiness, that in our love for those who remain and who need us and our strength we shall partly make good our loss and in the beauty of our lives erect the noblest monument to him.

 

May we go back to the daily round of our duties, more eager to be helpful and kind, as though in the presence of death itself we had learned to know the deeper meanings of life.  Thankful for Michael Terry, in whose company we walked these short years on earth, may we be better people, now that he has been taken away.

 

As with a candle that is extinguished, the warmth is gone and the light ceases to shine.  But what of the warmth and color that has shone in our faces, the brightness that has taken its place in our lives and helped light our way?