Seeking Solace


The human heart has hidden treasures,
In secret kept, in silence sealed;­
The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures,
Whose charms were broken if revealed.
And days may pass in gay confusion,
And nights in rosy riot fly,
While, lost in Fame's or Wealth's illusion,
The memory of the Past may die.

But, there are hours of lonely musing,
Such as in evening silence come,
When, soft as birds their pinions closing,
The heart's best feelings gather home.
Then in our souls there seems to languish
A tender grief that is not woe;
And thoughts that once wrung groans of anguish,
Now cause but some mild tears to flow.

And feelings, once as strong as passions,
Float softly back­ a faded dream;
Our own sharp griefs and wild sensations,
The tale of others' sufferings seem.
Oh ! when the heart is freshly bleeding,
How longs it for that time to be,
When, through the mist of years receding,
Its woes but live in reverie!

And it can dwell on moonlight glimmer,
On evening shade and loneliness;
And, while the sky grows dim and dimmer,
Feel no untold and strange distress­
Only a deeper impulse given
By lonely hour and darkened room,
To solemn thoughts that soar to heaven,
Seeking a life and world to come.

It is as times like these that a poem such as this by Charlotte Bronte speaks to me more than prose.  The tragedy that occurred at Virginia Tech calls to us.  Like the events of 9-11, when unfathomable destruction occurs, we need to come to terms with how to respond.  On a basic, reactive level we often begin with the primordial “fight or flight” reaction.  We want to either do something about it or run away from it, ignore it.  Two legislators in Taiwan staged a fake kidnapping in the wake of the shooting in order to demonstrate the lack of security  so that new security measures would be instituted.  Others probably dusted themselves off and continued with their daily routine as if nothing happened.  Even among some who probably should have been paying more attention the events went unacknowledged.  I spent this last week with a group of ministers.  Many may not have known about the tragedy since we had no television or newspapers or radios at the retreat center.  But some had heard initial reports of the events.  When I spoke to Louise on the phone and she told me about it I mentioned it to a couple of other ministers who also had had contact with the outside world.  Yet we did not acknowledge the tragedy publicly at any session or meal.

 

I arrived home Thursday night.  Friday morning I prepared to finish the Earth Day sermon that I was almost finished with for this morning.  I could not.  The issues that I was prepared to talk about were no longer as appropriate.  The tragedy that occurred at Virginia Tech called to me!  I needed to respond.  I needed to speak about it here this morning.  At first I was simply going to change the opening words and chalice lighting, and then proceed as I had planned.  But I could not.  More needed to be said, more needed to be thought, more needed to be done.  Not for the victims or the survivors, not for the perpetrator or his family, but for me and for you. 

 

We as human beings must somehow make sense of those things that occur that do not fit into our neatly manicured lives.  We want our lives ordered and understandable.  We want our lives to be predictable.  And when it is not we want to know why.  A tragedy such as this smacks us in the face and we are confronted with the thought of “There by the grace of God go I”. 

 

The grace of God - we say it but do we believe it?  UUs want answers and that does not seem to be one.  By whatever definition of “God” we find helpful, by whatever understanding of “grace” we can acknowledge “There by the grace of God go I” does not seem sufficient.  We still want to understand.  How could such a thing happen?  What made him do it?  How could it have been prevented?  What could the victims have done to protect themselves?  What could the administration have do to prevent, or at least minimize the damage?  We become frustrated, angry or devastated by our impotence.  What can we do?  What could they have done?  Our emotions kick in and the tragedy that occurred at Virginia Tech calls to us.

 

As your minister I am supposed to have an answer.  I wish I did!  I don’t.  But what I do have is a perspective.  I have, indeed, thought about tragedy and disasters and evil before.  I have read about how we do and can deal with such things and I do have my own perspective.  The first point that I want to make is that there are, in fact, not one but many different issues involved in attempting to get a handle on a tragedy such as this.  The first is that we need to acknowledge our vulnerability before, not just criminals and terrorists and madmen but the universe itself.  Terrorists and madmen and criminals have agendas that do not take into account our agendas. Hurricanes and tornadoes and earthquakes and lightning storms and floods and mud slides and forest fires occur regularly.  And sometimes in our lives we probably will find ourselves in nature’s path.   The stoic in me corresponds well with the “There by the grace of God go I” sentiment that simply acknowledges our need to let go of our need to control.

 

Human beings have always recognized that some things and some actions are good and others bad. They have also recognized that some things are beyond our control. The tornado cuts its path and destroys and kills no matter what we do. How are we to understand such things? Do they have any purpose or meaning?  We need to distinguish between what is intentional and what is unintentional.  While the unintentional can be accepted stoically as Rabbi Kusher does when he answers the question “Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People” by asking not how it happened but how we should respond, the intentional doing of evil is more problematic. 

 

What about Cho Seung-Hui?  Why did he kill 32 people?  Was he mentally ill or was he evil or both?  Like the killing of students at Columbine High School and at the Amish West Nickel Mines School last October this tragedy was caused by someone who was mentally ill.  The law has attempted to deal with some of the nuance of the problem by avoiding the “Guilty” label for some criminal (“evil”) actions by identifying some perpetrators as “Not Guilty by reason of Insanity”.  Interestingly that classification does not coincide with clinical definitions of mental illness.  Someone who does “know right from wrong” even though mentally ill from a psychiatric perspective may not be accorded that defense.

 

If some types of evil are natural such as volcanoes, earthquakes, forest fires, old age, and death, and some types are intentional such a lying, cheating, stealing, killing, etc., then they should be dealt with separately. Natural disasters, natural evils, are explained on the basis of how one understands the universe. If one sees the universe as beneficent, then natural evil is seen as an unfortunate result of beneficent forces. On the other hand, if one sees the universe as basically hostile, then natural evil would be expected. If one sees the universe as without motive and neutral then natural evil could be seen as simply our own interpretation of what is, in fact, value-free. St. Augustine 's idea of limited perspective may be appropriate here.

 

Intentional evil is more problematic. Socrates called it ignorance; Buddha , desire; William of Oakum, failed obligation. None of these definitions ever seemed very real to me. They always seemed like obtuse philosophizing.

 

M. Scott Peck , in “People of the Lie”, discovered over his many years as a psychiatrist that certain people have consistent behavior patterns that belie traditional psychiatric classification. It is not really a matter of these people not being classifiable in traditional psychiatric jargon, but that they exhibit behaviors which transcend the traditional classifications. Peck tells the story of a father who gave his son a rifle for Christmas. It was the same rifle that his older son had used to commit suicide the Easter before. A made for TV movie “Stay The Night” was the story of a middle aged beauty parlor operator who seduced a teenage boy then manipulated him into killing the beauticians  abusive husband.

 

Peck speaks of such evil as being anti-life and anti-liveliness; that which seeks to kill the body and/or the spirit of a person. Moreover, he suggests that evil people are those who mask their evil desires and deeds with lies. These "people of the lie" are consistent, straight-faced liars who deny their motives as well as the facts. They confuse situations and even make you think that you are the one who messed things up. They build layer upon layer of deception that not only confuse others, but also themselves. They are self-deceptive because they are absolutely unwilling to tolerate their own sinfulness. These people are usually not in jail or in mental hospitals. They are usually quite capable of maintaining a stable life-style and are often so subtle that they never really get caught.

 

Why would anybody want to be this way? Why would someone choose to be evil? Peck believes that, like other forms of personality disorders, it is an unconscious choice that one makes in order to cope with ones situation. The natural fear of abandonment and loneliness and the avoidance of pain often makes us do things both consciously and unconsciously that are immediately self-serving and self­ beneficial even while they compound the problem. They wish to take all of the blame and heap it onto others in order to protect themselves. If avoidance of blame and fear of abandonment and loneliness are the causes of someone becoming evil, a possible therapy is an environment of love and acceptance where a person can relax enough to risk taking some blame upon him or herself.

 

Peck, being a born-again Christian, has felt the need to use traditional Christian language at times. This makes for difficulty in translation when he speaks about Satin and exorcisms. Peck uses Christian terms to describe the treatment as well as some aspects of the illness that he calls “Evil”.

 

Saul Friedlander , in an article in this week’s Newsweek, in speaking about his book about the Holocaust, suggests that:

Evil is a theological term, which isn’t to say that it doesn’t fit.  Lunacy, perhaps, even more than thuggery, sadism and deliberate cruelty were the sheer essence of Nazism.  Yet we seldom see sheer Lunacy emphasized and it might be a useful perspective to recover today.

In a therapeutic session that I participated in neither “Evil” nor “Lunacy” were in evidence, yet, I believe, it was quite similar to what Peck described as an exorcism.  There was no religious language or presuppositions

 

attached to it, even though the location was in a “House Church”.  The circumstance was a weekend retreat which was an elective part of one of my first classes in seminary. The course was taught and the retreat led by a very prominent and well respected Gestalt therapist. We had been going to classes for about a month when the retreat took place. The class was fairly large by seminary standards, 22 students, but we had by this time become somewhat acquainted with each other. About 20 of us gathered for a Pot Luck supper on Friday night and then proceeded to a large recreation room of our teacher's house where we did some introductory exercises. We went on a blind trust walk outside, we drew pictures of our family constellations and of our hopes and dreams. We formed into dyads and triads talking about pets and mothers and joys. After a snack and more of the same, we unrolled our sleeping bags and went to sleep.

 

The next morning we found our way to the sink to brush our teeth and to the table for cereal before returning to the recreation room. Saturday we started by drawing pictures about our goals and what was blocking us from obtaining our goals. Then the teacher/therapist asked for volunteers who would like to work on what was blocking them. One at a time about 6 or 7 people worked with their blocks and the group under the guidance of the teacher/therapist who helped us to help each other. Then a strange thing happened. A young woman began discussing her problem with anorexia: an inability to eat. She was indeed skeletal -- a fact which I had not really noticed until she started talking about it. It seems that she was already working with a doctor and had gradually built up to one egg and a couple of tablespoons of milk a day. None of us had known about her struggle and as she related more and more of her problem we became more and more amazed. By this time we had become a fairly solid and cohesive group and one could feel a tangible air of acceptance and support for this girl who felt so unloved. She cried and we cried; she giggled and we giggled; she wanted support and we all lifted her. There were long periods of silence and abrupt changes of mood. After a couple of hours she was through and so were we. The spirit of that group was with her and a sense of caring followed her wherever she went over the next two years. Something powerful had occurred. We did not exorcise demons and, in fact, did not cure her -- she had a doctor who was working on that. But we did lay to rest, at least partially, her fear of abandonment and loneliness. And she was able to express her need for approval and accept it when it was given.  

 

Those who avoid the warmth and flow of love are the ones who most need it, however. Erich Fromm wrote: (in The Heart of Man: It's Genius for Good and Evil, pages 173-78). "Most people fail in the art of living not because they are inherently bad or so without will that they cannot lead a better life; they fail because they do not wake up and see where they stand at a fork in the road and have to decide. They are not aware when life asks them a questions and when they still have alternative answers. Then with each step along the wrong road it becomes increasingly difficult for them to admit that they are on the wrong road, often only because they have to admit that they must go back to the first wrong turn, and must accept the fact that they have wasted energy and time."

 

The exorcisms that Peck spoke about were not exactly like what happened that Saturday, but close enough for me to accept the fact that healing took place. My experience confirmed Peck ’s understanding that healing occurs when we can break down the defense mechanism that we have built up in an atmosphere of trust and acceptance.

 

This young woman suffering from self destructive anorexia was a gentle soul.  The only evil that she was responsible for was self inflicted, yet it was not unlike the kinds of evil that resulted in the shooting of innocent victims.  Understanding that the perpetrators of evil actions are in some way mentally ill does not bring solace to the victims or their families, however.  The question of why someone would do such a thing is, thus, less helpful than we a first imagine.  To find solace is not to find answers.

 

Some may find solace in activities that attempt to prevent such an occurrence for reoccurring.  Their “busy work” may indeed bring them solace, but it is ultimately ineffective.  Trying to prevent a reoccurrence of an evil act is ultimately futile.  Forcing everyone to take off their shoes before boarding airplanes will, indeed, prevent someone from bringing aboard a shoe bomb.  But a shoe bomb, with a timer in someone’s checked luggage can still blow up a plane.  Trying to prevent evil, trying to prevent terrorists from detonating bombs is futile.  The day after the Virginia Tech shootings four bomb attacks killed 183 people in Iraq — the bloodiest day since the U.S. troop increase began nine weeks ago.  On April 12 a suicide bomber blew himself up in the Iraqi parliament cafeteria killing at least eight people — including three lawmakers — and wounding dozens.  This occurred in the heart of the heavily fortified, U.S.-protected Green Zone.

 

Solace does not, ultimately, come from casting blame, it does not, ultimately, come from answering the question why the person did it or why the natural disaster occurred , it does not, ultimately come from frenetic activity that seeks to prevent a reoccurrence, it does not, ultimately come from punishing the perpetrator, if he or she is still alive.  All of there activities do take our mind off of the loss and horror, of course.

 

John Winter is the author of an Hiaku poem entitled Sorrow:

  

Sorrow is now his
Its spiny fingers wrap his heart
It is his to hold

Sorrow is now his
The waves encompass his soul
He has no choice now

Sorrow is now his
The tears flow without ceasing
It becomes his solace

Sorrow is now his
The beauty he desires is gone
It must be set free

Sorrow is now his
The battle is fought inside
His mind deceives him

Sorrow is now his
Without realeasing himself
He will never grow

Sorrow is now his
He will relinquish and grow
It is his alone

Sorrow used to be his
from a frown now he can smile
Today is now his


We must return to our daily routine. We cannot allow ourselves to be consumed by the tragedies of life.  We cannot fight and we must not flee.  We must accept that they are an inevitable but painful part of life.  I echo Rabbi Kushner who said of the 9-11 tragedy that "It seems to me the most insightful response is to find the presence of God not in the terrorist act, but in the response of some very brave people.  That so many people responded with courage — to me, that's the presence of God."

 

The demonstration of solidarity with the victims, our being with them, our sharing their grief, and our placing our selves in service to the victims in whatever way we can is all we can do and is what we must do.  The Amish parents in the wake of the shooting at the Amish West Nickel Mines School brought food to the parents of the one who did the shooting.  They understood that the depths of the sorrow of the relatives of the shooter was perhaps greater than their own.   We must acceptance that this must be sufficient, for now it is life that calls to us and to life we must respond.